Welcome to Effort Hell

I don’t know what it is.

I don’t know how long ago it happened.

But I’ve forgotten who I am.

This blog, my journals… all waypoints pointing in the right, hopefully correct, direction.

I need to add to this blog. In case this ever happens again.

First order of buisness:

1: Get Busy

Lift bat, get busy. Whilst it sounds strange, [the lyrics from a show called Clarence, one of my favourites] this is essentially true.

The more you do, the better your chances of learning, making connections, and growing. But fuck that last one. We aint about progress. We aint about reward. We do things because they have intrinsic, sadistic value.

…like I said, I’ve lost some pieces.

But I do want to take over the world? Maybe? Not 100% on that one, but certainly allured by self improvement and development.

 

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P’SOT NO:#0001

Zombies.

The favorite flavor of nightmare that I like to dream about. That, and Half-Life. Damm I love Half-Life. Something about those textures, and the way they are rendered just takes me back to a happy place. A place that was simple, and filled with love and understanding.

Just a man, his crowbar, and dozens…

Well hold on!

You need some help, don’t you?

To kill the zombie horde?

THEN I SHALL HELP.

ZOMBIES:

-TRAITS

Typically, zombies are slow, yet durable. In most cases, zombies will endure most forms of normally fatal damage with little-to-no impairment of function. They usually possess sub-standard sensory abilities, but we will cover this later. For all your purposes, I will offer the next pieces of advice for dealing with zombies of all types.

-TAKIN’ EM DOWN A PEG

So, here’s that fatal mistake that many people make. They underestimate the capabilities of their enemies. They rush, they shout. They may as well just stick a big sign on them that says: “FRESH MEAT SERVED AND SEVERED HERE”. You see, the biggest killer in zombie warfare?

It’s you.

Carelessness is the biggest killer. The first war of zombies you should be waging is not against the hordes of undead, but rather, against yourself. The first rule of stealth is to always assume that you are being watched.

The first rule of Zombie Slaying is to always assume that the zombies know where you are, that they are on their way, and that they can always see, hear, and smell you.

Now, I know what you are thinking.

“Ok, so I “assumed” these things, but how does this help me win?”

Well, simply put, in the game of life and death, those who live, win, those who die, lose. If carelessness against zombies kills so many, why should you not protect against it? We’ve all seen the movies, right? With this under your belt, you are now much more likely to survive than someone else, who just rushes in, and blows everything up. Zombie survivalism is less about being a tank, than it is about being a ninja.

A stealthy little ninja.

DAVY’S TOP TIPS FOR DEALING WITH ZOMBIES

1: Never, ever engage a zombie in combat, unless you ABSOLUTELY MUST. To kill you, all a zombie may have to do, is rake your skin with it’s grubby nails, and give you a case of cranial head meat cravings. To ensure longevity of life, refrain from killing zombies, wherever possible. Also, treat any bites and scratches with caution, thoroughly disinfect and clean them, and give the area a nice little bandage.You might also want to cauterize the wound, for added safety [Cauterize means to burn an area of tissue with a hot piece of metal, in very short, one-to-two second bursts.] If you seem fine after a few hours, probably no need to amputate. If there is any sign of disease or other signs of infection; CUT THE LIMB OFF AT THE CLOSEST JOINT. Then disinfect it, cauterize it to prevent bleeding, and give it a nice soft bandage. Seriously, cutting through the joint is a lot easier to do than cutting through bone. If that fails, cut more off. And if that fails, disregard Rule #1, and help as many survivors as you can, slaughter as many zombies as you can, and prepare to meet your Maker. Or, you could wait it out, and hope that somehow, you recover, and the infection doesn’t kill you. Which is possible, albeit unlikely.

Recovering from a potentially lethal infection follows some basic principles. Ensure that you stay hydrated, and that you continue to eat. If you vomit your food up, try drinking just liquids, and whatever you do, seek medical help if available. Take some gut pills, or just eat raw ginger. But be careful, pregnant women and people with blood pressure or existing gut problems should not take ginger. Also, it may cause a rash, and if that happens, you are probably allergic, and should stop eating it. Stay nice and warm, or cool, depends if you have a fever or a cold. Perhaps eat some nice chicken soup. That’s really about it, and as very few people have ever survived a full-blown infection, I can’t really vouch for them. Oh, and if you suddenly start coughing up blood, relax. It will all be ok. Stay calm, and you will get through this. Just relax, and think positively.

And this concludes the first piece of advice for you in your fight against the zombie hordes!

TIP NO:2 COMING SOON TO A BRAIN-FILLED TOWN NEAR YOU! [Next post]

 

POST NO#0001: THE DARK HORRORS OF THE MIND

OK!

Blogging secret no1: …..Shit. I have no idea what that could be.

I’ll have to find out.

aNyhoo.

We need something to talk about on this page.

So, we shall talk about ATOMS!

ATOMS are the smallest [Not actually] particles known to man. Manipulation of ATOMS…. Could hold the key to solving humanities problems?

Well, when you think about it, I think it could.

Oh, wait, no, I remembered rule no#1 of writing: KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

So, instead, next post, I will talk about something that I am familiar with.

Zombies.

And how to win against them.

oh shit no

I’M BACK, BITCHES.

Yeah, so here’s the thing.

I screw up a lot.

As in, a LOT.

So, for future referencing. I decided, that everytime I screw up, I’ll add something to this blog.

That way, in at least some small way, a part of me will become better…at something.

And who knows?

Maybe someday someone will find this ludicrously bad blog, and actually read some of it.

Welp, until then, it’s just gonna be me and these pages.

BLOGGING START!

Doomsday

Ah, where to begin.

I finally found my much-vaunted intellect.

After so long, you’d think it would be rusty, and dull.

Like a sword the has lain in a loft for what feels like an eternity.

In reality, though, it shines and glitters just like it used to; all those long days ago.

It feels like only yesterday I rode across the earth, scattering problems and building creations of my own. All the time in between, time spent without my most prized weapon, seems to have melted away for nothing.

I realize now that perhaps there was a method to what I did, several weeks before.

I created this blog for a twofold purpose.

Firstly, to serve as a vessel for my own purposes, and to hold my ideas.

Secondly, because I hoped; however vainly, that perhaps someone would find this blog, and read it.

And then I could teach them all that I had discovered, reach out through the gap of space and time to another person. Another player.

In the Game Of Life, we make many decisions.

Mine was to give my knowledge and help to others.

But now I see that this may, or may not, be possible.

My circumstances, and yours, may be totally incompatible, and I may be unable to fufill my desire to assist you. So, I am withdrawing my assistance.

By all means, peruse this vault, of dust, memories and ideas of long past, and find rest and enjoyment, however fleeting in its contents.

But the lessons of life I will seldom teach or give.

You will have to find those out for yourself.

But I will say this.

My Teacher was the greatest being of all.

He was God.

And he waits to teach you as well, if you’ll let him.

Just get a Bible, and read it.

The things in there, I have built my life on.

And I am not dead yet.

And I never will be.

So go.

Make your choice. It’s your own to make.

Consider this advice a parting gift, from stranger to stranger.

This is also most likely the most coherent I will ever be; so don’t be surprised if things never change for this blog again. I don’t intend to return.

So.

Who am I?

I am Davy.

Son of God.

Son Of David.

Son of Light.

This is my title, as a child of God’s Kingdom.

I wonder…

Do you know what you are?

Seek.

And.

You.

Will.

Find.

Goodbye.

 

SECRET PINGER MOUNTAIN FORT AWESOME

Wow, the third post.

And I’m already considering adding humorous and poorly-drawn comics to the posts.

I can’t wait to see how this will evolve.

Anyhoo, enough about the theoretical evolution of creative endeavors. [Crabcakes that’s a mouthful]

It’s TIME FOR ANOTHER MINECRAFT UPDATE!

So, recently, I’ve been thinking about adding more railway tracks as a nice little side ‘venture for my “SECRET PINGER MOUNTAIN FORT AWESOME”. Which is currently a mountain in the dense, lush heart of a jungle biome.

The fun I get out of riding in those little carts, at breakneck speeds is almost criminal.

Much like many of my activities.

Illegal endevours aside, holy cow that is a fun thing to say. Illegal Endevours.

Wow.

Amzing.

Build rails.

Have fun.

Build Railgun.

Have more fun.

Build “Mario Party” themed deathtrap with rails, minecarts, railguns, and other lethal things.

Give two people ALL DAY PASSES.

“Encourage” said people to try the “rollercoaster”

[NOTE: I think I’ll call it “The RollerToaster tm”. It’ll have a crispy finish.]

Again, just realised that I will probably be the only one to ever read this.

Build vantage point to allow for maximum viewing.

Have popcorn and vending machines at vantage point.

Pack sniper rifle in case things get dull.

–      –

(    –   )

BRING TEA.

I’M STARVING TO DEATH UP HERE

THE END!

 

 

 

 

HEADACHES

Ever have one of those feelings?

Like the top of your head is gently being eased off, and a crapload of steam and pressure is being released?

Well that is what writing this blog is like for me.

It’s insanely therapeutic.

Because.

I know that I was born to write.

I was born to do a lot of things, and sometimes I worry about never finishing, starting or managing them.

The demographic I have around me is not exactly conducive to boosting my confidence either. Through no fault of their own, I will be the first to admit.

And when I worry, I forget stuff.

Important things.

Like that I can and will accomplish great things.

You will too.

I know it.

Find out who you really are. Find the truth!

And then, follow it.

Aaand that’s it.

The post is done. It’s in your hands now.

Good Luck.

I’ll be rooting for you.